He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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