hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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