i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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