i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize