Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm too high and old for this...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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