i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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