Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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