I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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