I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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