Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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