We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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