remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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