I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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