you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize