no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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