Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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