I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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