I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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