Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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