if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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