ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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