every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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