I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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