We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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