Your face is a jimmy john
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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