First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is Oprah even human
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize