Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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