A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize