He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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