College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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