well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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