i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
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Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
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You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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