But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize