Old men and throwing up are my life now.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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