Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize