you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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