he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
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As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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