He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize