you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
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Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
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He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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