The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize