having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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