Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize