shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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