I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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