How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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