How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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