beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This is my gift to your gina
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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