i don't plan on having that self control this summer
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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