i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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