This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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